I've never talked much about The Gene Generation premier. Maybe it's because I merely went in and out like a college girl on prom night.

Our premier was held in Arizona, half the reason because it's my home town, and half the reason because I wanted to prove to the teachers that kicking me out of school was not an indication whether I would succeed in my career at all (which is something they have been very adamant about telling me for some reasons)

It was pretty much fun and games for everyone. For me, perhaps one of the scariest times of my life. Premiers, for me, have a similar poetry to Dante's The Divine Comedy. What starts of as heaven and a sense of accomplishments always veers towards purgatory and hell. See, I can't see or watch my movie in front of crowd of thousands. It just stresses me out too much. Every movie you do is a baby, it is a intense part of your soul that you give for the sake of entertainment. It wasn't until I started making movies that I knew what freaks and geeks felt like in a circus side-show.

But try sitting there and watching the crowd react towards your soul. Sometimes even a tickle hurts. Sometimes I interpret it wrong (according to my friends). Maybe I'm just too sensitive, but that's the reason why I seldom look at my name on google. What used to be fun when I was young is now a scary prospect to see how much people might hate me.

Go figure. That's the life of a filmmaker.... well, for me anyways...